Just So You Know

If I fall asleep while watching ANOTHER episode of Paranormal State, I will definitely have a nightmare, freak out when you enter the room, and have to be led to the bedroom whilst sobbing and asking where I am. And then I will ask for a shot of Diet Coke to calm my nerves. 

Just So You Know

If you park like an asshole next to me, I will leave you a note that reads, "The next time you park like this, I'm going to bash in your headlights."

Just So You Know

When you say to me, "I got you a Lean Pocket," I hear, "Hey, you're fat."