Just So You Know

I will never be there again to see you play guitar.

Everything you are wearing, I bought for you.

I am still feeling for my rings and crying myself to sleep.

This is not as hard as I thought it would be.

This is harder than I thought it would be.

I will let you go. It is not what I want. It's what you want. And I have always given you what you want.

It's Your LIttle Red Wagon

My husband is divorcing me. My husband is divorcing me. My husband is divorcing me.

I have to keep telling myself this so I don't call him by a pet name or buy him something at the grocery store or put on my wedding rings.

My husband is divorcing me. It's a done deal, my friends.

I have loved him for so long.

And now? It's just details. Debt. My name. His things, my things. Even though we have no children, I always thought of us a family and he thought of our marriage as a millstone, some kind of obstacle to his becoming.

There was nothing I wouldn't do. No lengths I wouldn't go to.

As bad as it was at times, as empty and scarred as I felt, I never would have walked away from him. I would continue to try, every day, to unlock him. To make him into a real live boy. To light a fire in him, to inspire him to reciprocate.

Someone I love is dying, and I can't save them. That's what my heart is telling me. Someone is dying.

I thought I had been heartbroken before, but those in retrospect were just bruises. I am heartbroken. I am out of my mind.

Just So You Know

I hate that you don't love me, too.

Straight To You

I've decided to stay married. To stop thinking about what could be and what should have been and just...live my life. Be his wife, be the person I meant to be. I don't know what happened to me or why I couldn't stop it. I don't know why I still let these old ghosts haunt me. This is a life I never meant. I know that. I made promises I intend to keep. I made mistakes I know I can change.

Just So You Know

I idolize my father because he's a fucking saint.

Just So You Know

I am a fucking rock star.

Just So You Know

It doesn't get any easier.