Just So You Know

This is my mother's face.

Just So You Know

This is the series of faces I make when you sext (yes, I said it) me that you want to dehumanize me.

Clearly, sir, you have never worked in publishing.

Just So You Know

Wellbutrin is a hell of a drug. I feel like I'm fucking IN LOVE. With MYSELF. Look at the face! Look at the stupor of serenity! Give me a puddle to jump in!

give it to me easy

You know those kinds of days where the air is really clean-feeling and you step outside and think that the ensuing day might end up being wonderful or a tiny bit dangerous or just...epic? Like, you have your best shoes on and your hair looks good and it's go time.

Man! I kind of miss that. Never knowing if you are going to meet someone or have an adventure.

Maybe those days are just gone. It's this weather. It's just warm enough to keep me from shivering, but not hot enough to sweat. Once I break a sweat, the spell will be broken. Until them, I'll be dreaming of all of you.

never for money, always for love

I heard birds this morning and it was so oddly nice. I feel buoyant today, and mildly sad. I'm craving the late 90s. I want to rock out in my Corsica with friends from high school and sleep in a twin bed in that decrepit farmhouse I grew up in and all of it.

was it love or fear of the cold?

I soaked my feet in a puddle outside my apartment today and the air smelled crispy, kind of like celery but not as spicy. Good things are coming, but they are are coming slow. I get jealous a lot lately. I want a baby and a man and to live in Brazil and to have clothes that my cats haven't peed on. I sure do want a lot, for someone who has so much.

And my boobs are getting sad because I'm losing weight. I'll miss you, friends.

don't tell me anything at all

Choosing to stand and deliver is hard. And scary. I could have left or moved into my parent's attic or just disappeared. But I stayed and built a new life, got another job. I made new traditions. And sometimes I am fucking sad, and I don't wash my hair and yeah, my boots are beat to shit. But I have chosen to stand and deliver. With each month, the debt recedes and my life gets a little more real. I'm still the best. My will will launch a thousand ships, still and yet. I will take what's mine, in my own time.