Four Years Ago Today

We were married. I miss you so much. I miss you every single day. Before I go to bed at night I say, "I miss you. I love you." to the empty room I sleep in. I hope that you can feel me with you at those moments.

I profoundly regret that our marriage did not work. I know that I played a role in that, and I am deeply sorry for the mistakes I made, the words I flung, the times I hurt you. I was the best wife I could be, and at times I was pretty great. Others, not so much.

I hope that you have found some measure of peace in your new life. I feel as though I have, but I can't deny that I continue to mourn our marriage. We were not good for each other, particularly near the end, but it is always sad when something ends. Something that was supposed to be great, but wasn't.

I wish things could have been different. I am grateful that I got to love someone as much as I loved you. If I had to marry someone and watch that marriage erupt in flames - I am really, really glad it was you.

Just So You Know

I am afraid to have sex with someone I actually like.

Just So You Know

I still feel like you belong to me.

Just So You Know

I miss you. So much.

I Know

That I am getting better because today? I can sing.

Just So You Know

I am waiting for you to tell me it's okay.

Give me the go ahead.

Just So You Know

My heart is totally and completely broken.

There is nothing you can do to me that hasn't already been done.

I am so profoundly lonely that I feel my face may break into a million tiny sad pieces.

I want someone to touch my hair. I want to feel skin on skin on skin on skin.

If you tell me it will get better, I will cut you.