Troubles Enough

I have the tendency to be a rather flip person, particularly when I'm in public. I spent so much of my life in a trench, it doesn't really interest me to be perceived as a very "deep" person although I like to think that most of the people in my life know that there's at least something going on inside of me besides biological functions.

I was a freshmen in college when the infamous September 11 attacks happened in New York. I went to a Catholic college and the next day there was a prayer service out on the lawn. Most of my friends were Christian, if not Catholic, and went to the service. I opted out - I don't crash parties and I'm not going to muck up your nice religious moment with my indifference. Later that day , a friend remarked that it was sad for her to see me walk off alone from the service. And I said, "Hey, it's okay. I'm secure enough in my own beliefs to let you do your own thing." And then this GUY that I was sort of dating looked at me and said, rather scornfully, "You don't believe anything."

First, let me assure you that this particular budding relationship experienced a very early frost. I mean, really. I don't believe anything? Seriously?

As someone without a set belief system or religious background, let me say that not only do I believe PLENTY of things, but that it hasn't always been easy deciphering what is true and what isn't in this big fucked up world. There's no book for people like me, at least not a single book with all the pertinent information. I've sorted some things out. I've made some mistakes, had my mind changed, and even changed some minds. I can definitely say that it's been a long row to hoe, but there are certain things I believe without a shadow of doubt, and these things are dear to me.